I'm a 20 year old college kid. In high school I had friends but I wasn't "popular". I found out fairly quickly what it was like to feel left out or alone. There are thousands of kids out there every day that go through the same thing.
I have never really had to deal with the physical side of bullying. I never had too many problems with anyone as far as that went. My abuse was more on the verbal side. I was a small, quiet kid who it was pretty easy to throw labels on. Labels are one way to really bring people down. I've gotten everything from people saying I was weird, gay, and many other things. The cold truth was that I hated high school. I am socially awkward which to other people comes off as weird or makes them think I'm stuck up. This is not the truth at all. Anyone who takes the time to get to know me figures out that I am a good friend.
There were plenty of times in my life where I dealt with depression. Some of these times were from feeling that I didn't have friends, some from feeling like I really was weird. That is one thing that people don't ever tend to see. The pain that their actions can cause people. It's easy for someone that is surrounded by friends to step all over someone who doesn't. There truly is a gang mentality in most high schools where if the leader of the pack attacks someone then everyone else will join in.
Not only have I dealt with my share of verbal abuse, but I've also seen a good bit of the physical mixed in. While I was a senior in high school there was a freshman who would bring a stuffed bear with him to school in his backpack. Soon enough some kids found out about the bear and decided to call him out on it. This has to be one of the saddest things I've seen. This kid was merely bringing something with him from home that comforts him because he felt out of place at school. I've been there. Plenty of times I've felt out of place at school or at social functions. I skipped most pep rallies in high school because I didn't want to stand there alone. Now back to the story. This kid was just trying to have something to hold onto to get through the day and he was ridiculed and picked on for it? Maybe the whole reason he had this bear was from situations like this in the first place?
It's bad enough that kids can't feel comfortable going to school, but when they try to do something to make it bearable for themselves and someone brings them down for it, that's sad. No one should ever have to go through a day feeling like they are the only person on the planet. It's situations like these that cause horrific events such as Columbine. Don't get me wrong, no one deserves to lose their life over anything like this, victim or bully. The best thing that can happen to anyone that gets bullied is to have someone to reach out to them or at least have their back.
Everyone has heard the stories of parents telling their kids to stand up to bullies, but sometimes if you fight fire with fire it just creates more burns. My best advice to get past a bullies advances is to reach out to friends and ignore the people who try to get a rise out of you. If it is ever a physical situation then of course you should protect yourself, but if at all possible just tell someone with authority whats going on so they can handle the problem.
Now all of this information may not really tie in to anything so I'm going to try to bring it all down to some simple points. One thing for everyone to remember is that everything is easier with friends. All it takes is one friend to make everything better. I know that from experience. So whether you get bullied or you know someone that gets bullied, always reach out to friends. Find that one person you can talk to that makes you feel comfortable for who you are.
I want this blog to be a place for people to reach out. If you need a friend then I am here to talk, listen, and be a support. I've gotten past my bullying mainly by becoming comfortable in my own skin. I'm happy with the person I am. I'm a bit of a nerd, soft hearted, quiet, but a genuinely good person. That's what I strive to be. Myself. No one can change that or affect that unless I let them. That's your biggest defense. Yourself. No one can hurt me anymore. Not physically, verbally, or otherwise because I love who I am. I may not have the most friends in the world, but I'm more than satisfied with the few good ones that I do have.
I'm always open to talk for anyone that wants to. Feel free to email me at stop-the-hate@hotmail.com. If anyone wants to share their story then you can email it to me and I'll post it either anonymously or however you would like. I want this to be a place where people can get things off their chest and connect with people. You're not alone. I'm not alone.
Stop the Hate
